A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.

The drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.

"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.

"Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking clock" the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriouiouously?" (burping)

"Yup."

"Hmmm (hic)."

"How's it work?" the second guest asked, squinting at it.

"Watch" the man said. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment in silence.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed "For f**k's sake you w**ker, it's ten past three in the f**king morning."